EXIT MUNDI! (With Appreciation...!)
He could not even get all the years right - what about 1969, damn you? HOW CAN ANYONE MISS OUT ON THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS?!? Well, maybe it is in the book - but it sure did not make it onto his little recap made expressly as exclusively for CNN and specifically cnn.com (WHAT A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO PROMOTE A TOME BEFORE PUBLICATION! And he seizes it.)
No mention of Charles Taze Russell either...?!? Shame on you.
The so-called scholar is to be an author soon, too - Lorenzo DiTommaso must not be believing (either) his luck as Harold Camping made his subject one with renewed interest for everyone - even (and perhaps especially) the atheists and agnostic of the secular world. For his subject is FAILED APOCALYPTIC PREDICTIONS, in brief - and what's not to love about that if you are solidly entrenched into materialistic secularism, hmm? DiTommaso is an associate professor of religion (!) at Concordia University (he must be doing more for the dark side than he is for the Lord than the average sinner does, I tell you...!) and his book is to be called "The Architecture of Apocalypticism" - a volume in which he aims to "identify and describe ends of the world worth remembering". That's it? That's all? That's pathetic! The book was pre-written then and all that the so-called author here has to do is put his stamp on it - as the preditor he found saw the mass appeal of it (especially in the present Y2K/2012 conjuncture) and gave him the green light for it...
And so he identified and (very briefly - one can hope it is different in his little booklet there) described those ends of the world that are "worth remembering"...
(Truly, anyone could recap it all more effectively - with a few newspapers clippings from recent events and history books at your local public library - which are yours free, on loan! And, again, you will then catch on to other items as worthy of remembering - but that DiTommaso has narrow a clue about...! And he teaches...!)
But let's not digress anymore...
Let's, rather, proceed with the overview:
Book of Genesis
And then there was Light!
The Book of Books (The Good Book collectively called when it encompasses *all* of Scripture) tells of the "first end of the world" according to the Concordia pubescent scholar wannabe - alas, it is more in the category of DIVINE PUNISHMENT than actual "end of the world" per say! Sure, most of life was effectively wiped out (except sealife - sealife thrived and had a ball during the Great Flood!) but Utnapishtim (better known as Noah) and his Ark signaled only a new beginning of the order of "RESTART" and not a true new era at all. GOD Was indeed saddened and angered by how corrupt and wicked humankind got to be SO FAST and so early in their history - but this was still not a bonafide "apocalypse" unless you count the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrha as such as well! This was CHASTISEMENT, pure and simple - the kind of any father will mete out upon rebellious (not to mention randy) children! DiTom there does point out that, for some Christians, the Flood was "the deluge of the world by water and that "it will be followed by future judgment and destruction by fire" - but those who share these Christian views are morons who cannot tell prophecy from hogwash for starters, so... GOD regretted destroying in such a manner and the rainbow is a sign of His Promise never to do it again. Judgment and destruction are coming, yes - but only for the evil ones.
Book of Daniel
DiTommy Boy does acknowledge that this is the "most famous Jewish apocalypse" - funny that he makes no mention of the others? He cites (and obviously shares) the opinions of his previous thousands of exegets that estimate that the final part of this one was written circa 165 B.C. - whoppee-do. He tries a bit of alliterative by stating that this book is both "an apocalypse and apocalyptic" - keep on trying, kid.
The only important thing that he does mention is that the Book of Daniel (a true, great prophet) "foretells the rise and fall of FOUR great empires" before the end of the world does occur. Chapters two and seven predict the end coming after the fall of the fourth empire - which is, arguably, the USofA. (The debate was always on, among the aforementioned Bible exegets, concerning what the identities of those empires really were - but that is another story.)
Mayhaps DiTomster has indeed read all the prophecies - because he also mentions the timetables laid out specifically in chapters eight and nine - AND the summary of final judgment, with some foresight into salvation and the Promise of individual redemption (more largely covered by John of Patmos in the next Book...!) to be found in chapter twelve here.
In short, DiToto tries to sound erudite by stating the obvious again: that the Book of Daniel and the Book of Revelation have both served as the basis for "subsequent apocalyptic speculation" and had a "great influence" on far more recent end time timetables - such as Harold Camping's. DUH.
Book of Revelation
(John)
The final book of the New Testament - and many people's favorite! Again, Tommy Boy pinpoints the well-known facts first: the Book is known to date from the last decade of the first century. (Which is why many discredit it and do not believe it could be the same John who was a disciple of Jesus that penned it - but what do they know?)
"It describes the coming doom in great detail," he says, "laying out a series of plagues, pestilence" (same thing, boy) "chaos and cosmic catastrophe" (saw some asteroids in the Apocalypse, boy? What drugs are you on? And I hoped that Concordia campus had cleaned itself up...)
Then Tomboy gets really literate with this line: "its (The Book of Revelation's) themes and images are an indelible part of the apocalyptic idiom" - as he cites the mark of the beast (everybody knows, by now, that it is the number 666 - right?) and the expectation of the final battle - Armageddon - as the top examples of that "imagery". True examples of such imagery would be all the allegorical representations of different forces at work, as we carry on here, out there right now, fulfilling all of these prophecies as we merely discuss them...! But that might be too much for Tomboy to handle?
He makes a mention of "the New Jerusalem that will descend from Heaven" without capitalizing Heaven as I just did *and* without showing any kind of true understanding of what this New Jerusalem might truly be like... The way he phrases it, it sounds like a floating city or a gigantic UFO like the one from James Cameron's "The Abyss"...! Pathetic.
And then, the highlight: he states that "unlike much apocalyptic literature, Revelation does not pinpoint a precise doomsday date" and concludes that "this has allowed people of later centuries to interpret the book's message in their own way and to believe, in some cases, that the end will come in their time"...!
HELLO - this was (purportedly) written by John - the same John who was one of Jesus' most faithful disciples! Of course he would
But, yes, perhaps it is necessary to precise such details about the Book of Revelation - for we know not what ignorant pair of eyes will come upon your text, with narrow a clue about the Book...
Pseudo-Methodius
Largely a response to the rise of islam, the "Apocalypse of Pseudo-Methodius" (for lack of a better title) was indeed a source of comfort and reassurance for all those Christians who lived (in the Middle-Ages) and are still living today in the Mediterranean and Middle Eastern troubled regions where their faith is the minority now. All it did was reiterate the Promise of the Coming of Our Lord - now presented as an "end-time emperor" (I still prefer the King Of kings, Lord of lords and Judge! This "end-time emperor" guy would not be necessary at all, in fact...!) who will come to vanquish Muslims, extirpate them from these lands, exterminate the enemies of Christ (or merely "confound" them, according to Tommy Boy - and Capitaine Bonhomme, both!) and "restore the glories of Rome" - nothing less!
Truth is, Pseudo-Methodius was the first of the wacky ones that began misinterpreting The Word very badly. His musings were popular due to the sentiment of unrest and fear among the Christian communities spread out that territory besieged by Muslims (heck, they wanted to take over even the Holy Land, so...) and saw themselves readily available very quickly, as they got translated into Latin and Greek from their original Syriac (an Aramaic dialect) "almost certainly in the seventh century" as Tommy Boy repeated after his teacher...
Again, it was Tomboy's teach that most certainly inculcated upon him the sense that Pseudo-Methodius' scribblings were "arguably the most influential" from "hundreds of apocalyptic texts composed by Christians, Jews and Muslims during the Middle-Ages".
Every century has had need of such reassurance in the light and the face of adversity.
Anabaptists
The ancestors of the Amish and the Mennonites - among others! As history tells us, the Anabaptists (what a terrible, or poorly-chosen name!) were "REFORMATION CHRISTIANS" in sixteenth to seventeenth century Europe. They were led by Melchior Hoffman into believing that "a new era would begin in 1533" - one guesses that Melchior estimated that it was time... Melchior Hoffman was a "visionary and prophet" in his own mind, at least - and the most esteemed Anabaptist of all. Thus it wasn't hard to believe his claims that Strasbourg (located in France at the time) "would be the epicenter of the event" and that it would be "the location of the New Jerusalem".
This was one of the first instances in which "flawed calculations" were blamed for the disappointment of not seeing the end / new beginning come. Some followers tried to make amends for that, predicting that pre-Germany Munster (of all places - but, then, Strasbourg was an odd choice to begin with) would be "the Second Coming site". And so this led to the dubious "Munster Rebellion of 1534-35, when Anabaptists tried to establish a radical theocracy in the city"
Lessons were learned here, still... trust me!
Sabbatai Zevi
Now, with this individual we hit a definite new low. For here is someone who is even more daring than TommyBoy there or any Harold Camping false prophet - here is someone who dares say that HE IS the Messiah. Those are huge pretensions there: it takes a lot to back those words up. And he had nothing to back it up, of course...
Nothing more than a "young Kabbalah scholar" (sort of like Tomboy Lo there) was the Turkish delight of his community, for a while, as he proclaimed in his native Smyrna (now Izmir - it should have remained Smyrna, really; likewise for Istanbul - should have stayed Constantinople! But that is another story...) that he was, in fact, "the long-awaited Messiah" - in 1648. The fact was that "Jews believed that the Messiah would be coming that year and shepherd in the End of Days". And with this guy as their messiah, the result was as bad as the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie "End of Days" was...
So the silly Jews, all due to conjuncture again, took in this guy as "a potential messiah" at the very least - simply because they expected the Messiah to be coming then, when THEY wanted Him to come! They accepted a Turk as their Messiah and crucified one of their own - Jesus of Nazareth - The true Messiah! INCREDIBLE - but true! And why 1648? Don't ask...
"When 1648 came and went without incident, rabbis censored and then banished Sabbatai Zevi from Smyrna" - and then he began his religions tour in full throttle. Zevi wandered for fifteen years during which "he adopted the Christian apocalyptic speculation that the end would come in 1666". Rejected by the Jews, he becomes a Christian - but, at least, he stopped thinking himself to be the Second Coming... at least! Still, he gathered up FOLLOWERS nonetheless - and dreamed of a crown!
"Anticipating the overthrow of the sultan in Constantinople" (and still hoping to be crowned king of kings, surely) Zevi and his merry gang went into the city in early 1666 - finally leading some kind of uprising but relying heavily on others to fight for his "rights"... They were quickly imprisoned and, worst of all, converted to Islam! Zevi proved, once and for all, not to be the Second Coming by being a coward, no Judge at all, no Liberator to speak of, and a terribly inept leader for any "mass movement" there could be on those days... The sultan lived happily ever after.
Well, that is, until he died and went straight to HELL - of course! But that is another story, too!
Same as that False Messiah Zevi and anyone else deluded enough like him...!!!
William Miller
The "architect" (to borrow from TommyBoy's terminology there) of The Great Disappointment! For everyone agrees that this was and will always be "the most notorious example of a failed doomsday prophecy in American religious history" - sorry, Harold, you're number two! (In many ways - but that is another story as well...)
As Tomboy summarizes, all throughout the 1830s, "after crunching numbers derived from Biblical prophecy", Miller announced to all that the end would surely come between March 21, 1833 and March 21, 1834 - a wide enough window of opportunity, one can say, for *anything* to happen... Miller became, over that time, a renowned Baptist preacher and the prime authority on the subject. Again, of course, nothing happened and despite recalculations from others who reset the doomsday calendar for October 22, 1844, it was not to be - at that time. The similarities with Harold's camp are striking; and yet...
"The repeated failure of these apocalyptic predictions greatly disappointed evangelicals" across the continent of America and the globe. Yet, as most would-be erudite observers note in disarray, "rather than suppress future apocalyptic speculations, (this) experience galvanized evangelical Christianity in the United States" - well, Tomboy, that is because FAITH will always be; no matter how disappointing life on Earth gets to be! And since this life is only a passage, a test for the immortal soul - you should not wonder how faith can survive and become actually stronger!
But questioning the faith of others is a sport to some of you bozos...
Marian Keech
Now I wonder why CNN wanted to insert this one in here - to further undermine faith overall? Nice.
Marian Keech is but an alias used by sociologists who infiltrated her group and exposed here while "studying" the fascinating case-subject that she represented... The woman whose true name we'll likely never know led a tiny doomsday sect in the city of Chicago, Illinois. With a background that included having been "a part of L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics movement" (before he invented Scientology) and an obvious belief in extra-terrestrial life, she was an ideal leader for such a clique indeed...
Her claims were that "spiritual beings from the planet Cerus and Clarion had told her that a flood was going to wipe out the city of Chicago on December 21, 1954." She further ascertained that "a visitor would arrive at midnight on December 20 to take her group to a waiting spacecraft and salvation". When nothing happened at all, she started ascertaining that it was her group's piety that had "changed God's Mind" about this latest flood (never mind the fact that He Had Said "never again this way" before - remember the rainbow?)
These deceptive sociologists had a field day with the delusional dame here - they (also) had a book deal (the thing is titled "When Prophecy Fails" - morons, who said this broad was a bonafide "prophet" - you? Because you have a degree in sociology and needed that carved in stone in order to publish the book? Sheesh.) and they pushed the vanity factor as to take credit for introducing the masses to the concept of "cognitive dissonance" - or "the mental turmoil" provoked by "holding contradictory ideas simultaneously"... Hmm, excuse me but wasn't she simply trying to come to a conclusion based upon the new facts that she was witnessing before her very eyes? As such, this was not much different than any scientific process when a theory is proven incorrect and the scientific mind has to comprehend what happened there...! Conclusion: we all suffer from cognitive dissonance - in different degrees, that's all!
Jehovah's Witnesses
Now, what else can be said about this bunch that hasn't already been said, written, discussed before? TommyBoy has nothing much to add either - except that he tries to be original here by pinpointing the year (of publication only) 1966 as the year where it began to change for the Witnesses...
"1966 saw the publication of a pamphlet by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, an organization of the Jehovah's Witnesses, that mentioned 1975 as the year in which the seventh period of human history, which is the last 1,000 years, would begin."
Not much of "an end of the world worth remembering" or, much less, a "prophecy" - but Tommy Boy includes this and apologizes that "although (this was) never part of official doctrine, the view that the world would end in 1975 came to be accepted by many members and profoundly affected the outlook and activities of this religion"
Sect, you mean - right, TommyBoy?
Branch Davidians
To give credit where it is due, DiTom reveals here a little-known fact about the Davidians: that they are an offshot group, a distant offshoot indeed, of the Seventh-Day Adventists. Too bad for your lineage, Adventist Church faithful; now, with CNN blowing the lid off this dirty secret of yours, it is done for your P.R. department. But that is another story...
Evoking the 1993 drama that saw four U.S. agents (you can't even spell out FBI...?) killed in a shootout at the infamous Waco, Texas compound, and the standoff that lasted fifty-one days that ended with a fire that killed about eighty Davidians, DiTom does little here than recaping what Wikipedia can do for you just as well.
David Koresh is remembered here, by DiTom, "the leader and final prophet" (whatever DiTom means by that) who "worked" during the standoff, yes "to decipher the Seven Seals of the Book of Revelation" which "he thought would explain the group's situation". Proving once more that it always all about EGO - what a shame to always envision oneself at the heart of things, as the main attraction, as the Messiah sometimes too...!
DiTom concludes that "the Branch Davidians were one of several apocalyptic movements since the 1970's to result in tragedy" - and then he adds "including Jim Jones' Peoples Temple". Well, sorry DiTom but the People's Temple was not all that focused on the return of Christ as much as they felt persecuted, period! Do some more research before you lump things together like that - sheesh!
Heaven's Gate
Now, again, Wikipedia helped out DiTom - as it does you and me, surely, on a daily basis! He starts with the basics: "Marshall Herff Applewhite and Bonnie Lu Nettles founded a theology Biblical apocalypticism (still not sure that is a word, DiTommyBoy!) and science-fiction"
"The Earth, they said, was a steppingstone to a higher evolutionary state. They were convinced that the planet, which they likened to a garden, was so full of weeds that God was about to plow it under, or recycle it." Note here that "they" described God as an alien from the E.L.A.H. - the Evolutionary Level ABove Human - nothing other than that.)
"In March 1997, thirty-nine members committed suicide in Rancho Santa Fe, outside San Diego, California," in order "to escape the prophesized doom." (I'm getting tired of trying to improve your writing, DiTom!)
"They believed that a spaceship, traveling alongside the Hale-Bopp comet, would transmit their souls to their evolutionary destination." (Why would you go with "the comet Hale-Bopp" instead...? Or chose to go with the verb "prophesizing" at all...! But those are other stories indeed...)
Harold Camping
"when the righteous remnant of the world's population will be raptured and saved"
As the "best-known proponent of this (latest but not greatest) belief", Harold gets the brunt of the blame here and now for reviving interest in these prophecies.
What can you say - the man is old, he knows he's going to die and he wants us all to join him!
2012 and the Mayan calendar
And of course we get to the infamous data recorded in the "Long Count" calendar left to us by the Mayans... Said data recounts that "the present age will end on December 21, 2012"
It combines, according to the scholars that DiTommy represents, "old-school apocalyptic notions with nonbiblical (again, that is NOT a word - and then he precises "Mayan" in-between his parentheses - SHEESH.) timetable."
"Some expect a cosmic calamity on the order of Revelation. Others anticipate an alignment of the planets or the sudden inclusion of a new celestial body. Still others think 2012 will usher in a spiritual transformation."
A global and multicultural phenomenon thanks to the internet and Hollywood's early involvement too, DiTom is visibly impressed by the open participation of an entire planet to this latest example of "apocalypticism" craze...!
Not me.
All it does is open the doors to a myriad false doctrines - again!
Luminous Predictions now...?
You want some? Here they are:
THE FACT IS...
NONE CAN KNOW THE TIME OR DAY - NOT EVEN THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN, NOT EVEN JESUS HIMSELF -
ONLY THE FATHER KNOWS.
Get that through your skulls -
once and for all!
+++
Labels: Apocalypse, Doomsday Clock, Is Ticking
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